Month: March 2016

At church we have been talking about tithing. Our sermons are far different than what I hear most modern pastors teach us. We have learned that giving is supposed be an overflow of joy for the blessings you already have. Giving should be from the heart and there really is no percentage on it. I mean you cannot take from God what is already his.

I know some readers may not be believers and that is fine but believer or not I believe it is still our duty to give back and help our brother and sisters of this world strive for better. I am going to pose this same challenge to my church members but since I have not been able to see them I want to charge you readers with the same challenge. GIVE FROM YOUR OVERFLOW!

Since our giving should be from joy of our overflow, for most of us this should be very easy. A lady at my job told me she liked my sweater. It actually had a skirt to go with it. At the time she told me she liked it I told her I would take it off and give it to her if she wanted it. She proceeded to tell me that she felt it looked nicer on me. However, the next day I brought her the sweater and the skirt to go with it. I was so happy to do so. I did it with joy and happy that it didn’t bother me to let her have it. Unfortunately, she could not fit it but when she came back to my desk she told me she appreciated it. She asked me to pray for her because she was having a difficult time feeling happy at work because she was not experiencing any growth and she keeps getting administrative jobs that do not teach her about the industry in depth. Low and behold I am in the same position and feel the same way.

I have done some other things since this sermon that I choose not to go into detail about. I’m speaking for motivation for someone else, not to receive recognition for all my good deeds. But…this month I have really succeeded in giving and doing it cheerfully and with a pure heart. In this particular situation I felt glad to know that there is someone who is a believer like me and still feels discouraged at times. Many times we (I) feel liking I am failing when I feel discouraged because my faith is weak. Yet now I have someone praying for me and vice versa. In my other situation I am simply humbled that I could help in way that lets me know God is using me.

Maybe you are not a believer but either way to be helpful to someone else is a joyful feeling. To be able to do or give with out anger, strife, or heartache is a wonderful feeling and it shows growth and maturity. It helps one to feel used where in other area he or she may feel like failures. For us parents….it helps set a standard and example for our kids .

So for my challenge….I challenge you to do two things.

1. If someone says they like something of yours give it to them. (I am not asking you to give away your LV) But if someone likes a scarf or a shirt and they can fit it…give it to them.
2. If you hear a honest need that you can meet, do it.

A little goes an awful long way and if you learn to be a blessing to someone else pay attention to how blessed you already are to be such a blessing.

Stay motivated until next week

The Sophisticated Boy

Life. Throughout yours have you been thrown some twists and turns? I have. I am sure we all have. Growing up my mom was a single mom. My dad….well I saw him but he wasn’t exactly an active participant of my life. I had friends who had two parent households but most were not exactly Happy Marriages and everyone else lived in single family homes. My mom made a decent living and things were much better when my step dad (real dad) entered the picture.

We all make mistakes and we do things wrong. I would say the first step is learning to make better decisions from the beginning. However, what would life be if we got it all right all the time? We all have lessons to learn throughout life. Now some of us are extreme and we keep making the same mistakes and doing he same WRONG things over and over again. But most of us are doing our best going though this trial and error of life simply trying to get it right. Please do not take my next statement wrong but once the mistake is make, “Stop trying to make up for it!”

This is mainly to my mothers with boy’s but applies to all parents. Now don’t get me wrong if you let a rapist in your home and had no clue that is a tragedy all will have to learn from and I understand the recovery process behind that. However, basic mistakes. Choosing the wrong father and/or mother, having to work hard, missing a recital….you name it; these things affect us as parents. As it should because we care for our kids and we want to give them the world.

Today I just sat here thinking about all the boys/men I know whose moms gave them any and everything with out requiring much of them. You know, the kids we went to High School with who had the flyyyest Jordans with a 2.0 GPA or the biggest name brands but also skipping school most days. How much can you make up for before you are hindering more than helping?

Keenan is only 3 and I am the parent that intends on making it to every recital, every basketball game, every parent teacher conference…but what happens when I cant? Yes. Maybe I will take him for ice cream or dinner in an effort to make it up but how long do I keep going to dinner or buying ice cream before I over do it? I think in today’s society we try to over compensate for everything instead of us and our children realizing that life happens and when it does it is not always going to make up for it’s happening. We ALL have had to deal with major losses, hurts, and pains and there was simply nothing we could do but deal with it. Some of us were born with silver spoons in our mouths but most people I know have had to work very hard for what they have in life no matter how minor or grand it is.

I am in no way implying not to show empathy towards things we wish we could do better. However, at some point not only are you torturing your child by not teaching them that LIFE HAPPENS, but you are also torturing yourself. If your thought is to always over compensate for your mistake then it’s probably a sign you have not forgiven yourself. If you understand where I am coming from in relation to this topic then you understand that you are trying to buy their love to forgive you for something you have not first forgiven yourself for.

I have to watch this. I want Keenan to be a MAN. He is a child right now but I want him to be a man. A man that recognizes life doesn’t owe him anything. He needs to recognize that hard work pays off. He will appreciate it more. Also, the sooner he learns how to overcome other peoples failures or short comings in his life the sooner he will recognize his own flaws and the sooner he will learn to have a forgiving heart.

As a Christian forgives is the hardest thing for me to accomplish and I find it to be a difficult task for most people I know. If we can start teaching our children young ways to accomplish this it will make life more fulfilling.

Another point is to realize what you are sacrificing for your children. Some of us are sad we are not there for our kids because we have to work…but what are you working for. You want them to have more than you had, yes. But how beneficial is the materialistic gain?Would you rather buy them off to provide an excellent way of life as opposed to being there and supporting them? If you have enough money to be there and support are you doing so? Is the abundance of life making them unappreciative of even the bare necessities let alone the overflow? Each child is different so you have to determine what is best for you and yours. However, I believe most of us are on a mission to buy our happiness and it causes quite a few hardships that could have been avoided.

Try to find ways to help your kids appreciate and work for what they have. Some of you grew up with absolutely nothing and you lost sight of the befit that provided in your life and your kids have so much that they don’t see the same benefits. Keep pushing and this week I challenge you to help you kids work just a little harder and give back a little more. One man told me growing up his dad would make them skip one family meal on a Friday night. He probably had enough money to buy enough pizza for their family and another but he would buy a nice meal for another family and his family would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Why? What good was the benefit of helping another if there was no sacrifice to you? How will you sacrifice this week? How will you make your child sacrifice this week? If you can’t how will you show your kid you care with out putting  a price tag on it?

Stay Motivated Until Next Week

The Sophisticated Boy