Category: Mid Week Motivation

I told you all that the time off brought a lot of ups and downs. However, there were blessings to be found through out all of it.

Imagine this…We are in the midst of closing on our first home. I have just sent over all the final paperwork to seal the deal. Our credit has been approved and everything is good. Now in the midst of trying to purchase a home you cannot create any new debt (Keep that in mind).

4:30 a.m. I awake up and get ready for work. 5:00 a.m. I am waking Keenan up to get him ready. We say our good mornings, brush our teeth, comb our hair, he eats breakfast and were off. Gotta get him strapped into the car seat. I do one final check to make sure we have everything. We enter the ramp to the highway. We say our prayer. “Dear God. Thank you for allowing me to see another day. May I be a blessing to someone else so that they see YOU through me. Amen” Now we need music. Tye Tribbett blares, “You are good. Hallelujah, you are good!”

At that moment I lost total control of everything….literally.  I can only describe what it felt like. But it felt like the car slipped out of the gear and slid. I then gained control for about 2 seconds and then it slipped again and this time I did not gain control. The car just started pulling me to the right and no matter how hard I tried to pull back to the left I could not do it. Some people asked me if it felt as if the steering column went out. Nope. I was successfully turning the wheel, all the while the car was successfully going the opposite direction. Over three lanes of traffic we flew. Eventually we crashed into a construction barrier at which point the car spun and left us barricaded between the construction barrier and the 2nd lane of traffic. We are stuck facing on coming traffic in the slow lane and there is literally nothing I can do but sit and wait.

I call 911 and I go through the motions of where I am and what just happened. Only one car stops and asks us if we need help as we wait for 15 minutes before help comes. At that moment in time I realized….BUT GOD……! There was really nothing else I could say. We crossed over three lanes of traffic. I didn’t hit anyone else and no one hit us. The construction barrier was actually a blessing because the only other place I had to go was huge concrete wall on the side of the highway which would have caused way more damage. I realized that had someone actually hit us they would have hit my Keenan’s side of the car. I walked away with just a few scratches and my child was completely unharmed. He wasn’t even shaken. He simply asked, “You okay mommy? Why you stop?” The last question brought laughter in the midst of the storm. Actually I should not even say storm. I was able to walk away. I went to bible study that night. I drove to get my child from day care that night. I was slightly worried about whether or not this would affect the house but not too much.

I always say I understand that some of you may not be believers. Believer or not, where do you turn when there is no where else to turn? Who do you call on when you have lost total control of life? If you have not tried him….please give HIM a try. I’m not sure what you should expect because each persons situation is different. Maybe you want him to be a miracle worker and today he just wants to be a peace maker for you. Doesn’t mean he can’t perform them because in my situation he worked a miracle and placed protection all around me. He opened my eyes to the fact that life is short and tomorrow is not promised. I am doing everything I can now to live and enjoy what life brings. If you thought I was thankful for my child before I am more grateful now. I could have walked away pissed my car was messed up, mad that it might jeopardize the house, and pissed that about the scars it left (It looks like someone choked the mess out of me on one side of my neck) However, I walked away more grateful than ever. I don’t believe that I would have attested the house to myself but If I was going to…..the accident helped me to remember to let the world know God gave me that house, HE gave me life, HE gave me my child and at the snap of a finger it could all be gone.  It reminded me to focus on the little small moments that we create. I talked about this in a previous post.

Today I just dare you to focus on the all the good things in your life. Take time to create memories that can be cherished. Recognize that life really is short. Lastly, If you have not tried HIM please do. He may not work for you the same way he worked for me but we are not the same person and I can attest he will work and when he does remember, BUT GOD…!

 

I apologize for the delay as it has been quite a long time since I posted. When I tell you everything that could have gone wrong went wrong in the past few months…..but everything that could go right went right all at the same time.

I am officially a home owner now. The plan was to get ready for a home this year but the final outcome was we have a home now and it not only happened this year but with in only 2 months. God works his will when you least expect it. If you are down keep pushing because he can turn things around at any instance he gets ready to.

I had to take a break because there was house hunting, then every time we turned around there was paperwork and finance conversations at the end of the day, then there was UNPACKING…..but most importantly because I had to hold on to all my funds and I couldn’t really post anything new for Keenan’s clothes. But everything is good now. Again, I apologize for the delay.

This is a new motivational Wednesday. I just really wanted to apologize and let you know a lot of new material came out of these past few months. But for this week just know that God is sufficient. I know it may not seem like it at this time and you feel maybe he has forgotten you but he has his plan and when I tell you he can work it out in a heart beat for you…He can!

I spoke to a few realtors about owning a home but I was so scared and my nerves were never calmed in that area. Yes it is an investment but there are a lot more burdens that come with home ownership. Towards the end of March I was helping a friend who became a realtor. I posted his homes to my Facebook page to support him and every now and then I would go look at homes. He constantly came to me and said are you just looking and every time I would reply, “YEP! Just looking!” One day he came to me and explained all the benefits and incentives to home ownership and how beneficial it would be to Keenan and how it would help when it came to finding a great school for him. At that moment God used him to calm my nerves and really get started with the process. NO ONE else had calmed me like that, not even my husband who wanted to purchase years ago. So we started the finance process and low and behold we were approved. Between the little savings we had and our 401K we had enough for the down payment and we found a home in a good neighborhood in 1 month. The next month was simply conducting all the inspections and other finalization processes. Keep in mind it is a sellers market in Dallas and there were some people who had been on a search for more than 90 days. God is so good! Keenan’s school is a 10 out of 10!

Please be encouraged and know that God has a plan for you and he can bring that plan to fruition at any time. Had we tried to apply some time ago we may not have had enough in our 401K or enough saved. Possibly the seller would have paid a lot of the cost but that is not for me to worry about. We now have a custom home that we can afford and it fits our personality and style.

 

 

At church we have been talking about tithing. Our sermons are far different than what I hear most modern pastors teach us. We have learned that giving is supposed be an overflow of joy for the blessings you already have. Giving should be from the heart and there really is no percentage on it. I mean you cannot take from God what is already his.

I know some readers may not be believers and that is fine but believer or not I believe it is still our duty to give back and help our brother and sisters of this world strive for better. I am going to pose this same challenge to my church members but since I have not been able to see them I want to charge you readers with the same challenge. GIVE FROM YOUR OVERFLOW!

Since our giving should be from joy of our overflow, for most of us this should be very easy. A lady at my job told me she liked my sweater. It actually had a skirt to go with it. At the time she told me she liked it I told her I would take it off and give it to her if she wanted it. She proceeded to tell me that she felt it looked nicer on me. However, the next day I brought her the sweater and the skirt to go with it. I was so happy to do so. I did it with joy and happy that it didn’t bother me to let her have it. Unfortunately, she could not fit it but when she came back to my desk she told me she appreciated it. She asked me to pray for her because she was having a difficult time feeling happy at work because she was not experiencing any growth and she keeps getting administrative jobs that do not teach her about the industry in depth. Low and behold I am in the same position and feel the same way.

I have done some other things since this sermon that I choose not to go into detail about. I’m speaking for motivation for someone else, not to receive recognition for all my good deeds. But…this month I have really succeeded in giving and doing it cheerfully and with a pure heart. In this particular situation I felt glad to know that there is someone who is a believer like me and still feels discouraged at times. Many times we (I) feel liking I am failing when I feel discouraged because my faith is weak. Yet now I have someone praying for me and vice versa. In my other situation I am simply humbled that I could help in way that lets me know God is using me.

Maybe you are not a believer but either way to be helpful to someone else is a joyful feeling. To be able to do or give with out anger, strife, or heartache is a wonderful feeling and it shows growth and maturity. It helps one to feel used where in other area he or she may feel like failures. For us parents….it helps set a standard and example for our kids .

So for my challenge….I challenge you to do two things.

1. If someone says they like something of yours give it to them. (I am not asking you to give away your LV) But if someone likes a scarf or a shirt and they can fit it…give it to them.
2. If you hear a honest need that you can meet, do it.

A little goes an awful long way and if you learn to be a blessing to someone else pay attention to how blessed you already are to be such a blessing.

Stay motivated until next week

The Sophisticated Boy

Life. Throughout yours have you been thrown some twists and turns? I have. I am sure we all have. Growing up my mom was a single mom. My dad….well I saw him but he wasn’t exactly an active participant of my life. I had friends who had two parent households but most were not exactly Happy Marriages and everyone else lived in single family homes. My mom made a decent living and things were much better when my step dad (real dad) entered the picture.

We all make mistakes and we do things wrong. I would say the first step is learning to make better decisions from the beginning. However, what would life be if we got it all right all the time? We all have lessons to learn throughout life. Now some of us are extreme and we keep making the same mistakes and doing he same WRONG things over and over again. But most of us are doing our best going though this trial and error of life simply trying to get it right. Please do not take my next statement wrong but once the mistake is make, “Stop trying to make up for it!”

This is mainly to my mothers with boy’s but applies to all parents. Now don’t get me wrong if you let a rapist in your home and had no clue that is a tragedy all will have to learn from and I understand the recovery process behind that. However, basic mistakes. Choosing the wrong father and/or mother, having to work hard, missing a recital….you name it; these things affect us as parents. As it should because we care for our kids and we want to give them the world.

Today I just sat here thinking about all the boys/men I know whose moms gave them any and everything with out requiring much of them. You know, the kids we went to High School with who had the flyyyest Jordans with a 2.0 GPA or the biggest name brands but also skipping school most days. How much can you make up for before you are hindering more than helping?

Keenan is only 3 and I am the parent that intends on making it to every recital, every basketball game, every parent teacher conference…but what happens when I cant? Yes. Maybe I will take him for ice cream or dinner in an effort to make it up but how long do I keep going to dinner or buying ice cream before I over do it? I think in today’s society we try to over compensate for everything instead of us and our children realizing that life happens and when it does it is not always going to make up for it’s happening. We ALL have had to deal with major losses, hurts, and pains and there was simply nothing we could do but deal with it. Some of us were born with silver spoons in our mouths but most people I know have had to work very hard for what they have in life no matter how minor or grand it is.

I am in no way implying not to show empathy towards things we wish we could do better. However, at some point not only are you torturing your child by not teaching them that LIFE HAPPENS, but you are also torturing yourself. If your thought is to always over compensate for your mistake then it’s probably a sign you have not forgiven yourself. If you understand where I am coming from in relation to this topic then you understand that you are trying to buy their love to forgive you for something you have not first forgiven yourself for.

I have to watch this. I want Keenan to be a MAN. He is a child right now but I want him to be a man. A man that recognizes life doesn’t owe him anything. He needs to recognize that hard work pays off. He will appreciate it more. Also, the sooner he learns how to overcome other peoples failures or short comings in his life the sooner he will recognize his own flaws and the sooner he will learn to have a forgiving heart.

As a Christian forgives is the hardest thing for me to accomplish and I find it to be a difficult task for most people I know. If we can start teaching our children young ways to accomplish this it will make life more fulfilling.

Another point is to realize what you are sacrificing for your children. Some of us are sad we are not there for our kids because we have to work…but what are you working for. You want them to have more than you had, yes. But how beneficial is the materialistic gain?Would you rather buy them off to provide an excellent way of life as opposed to being there and supporting them? If you have enough money to be there and support are you doing so? Is the abundance of life making them unappreciative of even the bare necessities let alone the overflow? Each child is different so you have to determine what is best for you and yours. However, I believe most of us are on a mission to buy our happiness and it causes quite a few hardships that could have been avoided.

Try to find ways to help your kids appreciate and work for what they have. Some of you grew up with absolutely nothing and you lost sight of the befit that provided in your life and your kids have so much that they don’t see the same benefits. Keep pushing and this week I challenge you to help you kids work just a little harder and give back a little more. One man told me growing up his dad would make them skip one family meal on a Friday night. He probably had enough money to buy enough pizza for their family and another but he would buy a nice meal for another family and his family would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Why? What good was the benefit of helping another if there was no sacrifice to you? How will you sacrifice this week? How will you make your child sacrifice this week? If you can’t how will you show your kid you care with out putting  a price tag on it?

Stay Motivated Until Next Week

The Sophisticated Boy

 

 

Did your life turn out how you planned it? I’m sure for some of you all the stars aligned and everything happened according to your plan. I see some peoples life and it appears to be that way. Did mine turn out like that? NOPE!!!! Not at all. I had dreams and plans for many things and so far none have turned out the way I hoped or dreamed for. Does it mean that I didn’t work as hard as you or that I didn’t follow directions. Not at all. What directions? This is life we are talking about. Even if I followed the bible to a “T” it does not mean life was not going to happen. We all have our paths and roads to take us to our end and none of ours paths are the same. We may cross each other in moments of unity but overall we walk different walks.

When I look at others peoples paths it works my nerves when people say stop wanting what other people have. I mean don’t get me wrong I have looked at other peoples lives and had a twinge of jealousy because they had what I didn’t but in the same thought they had what I wanted. I was never clueless to my own desires and the life I wanted. Its not really wanting the life they have when I thought at 6 years old my own life would look similar to theirs. However, we do have to love the skin we are in and the cards we are dealt. As many times as I look back over my life NOTHING looks as I planned but does it look so bad?

I am alive and doing well. My family is alive and doing well. Have I lost a few loved ones in the past, YES but I still have family who loves and supports me. My sister is a rock for my son and though 15 years younger she is still there for my son in ways I could not have ever fathomed. I have a sitter who adores my son and watches him like he is her child. When I say God sent the woman who cares for my child…GOD DID IT, and not only does she watch my child she watches half the babies at my church. Speaking of church….my foundation there is beyond my wildest dreams.

I remember being a child wanting and longing to go to church. I mean I visited here and there but I did not have the core foundation of a church home. My mother felt like she knew God well enough on her own and was burnt out with attendance and church folk. However, God blessed me with an extended family that is awesome beyond my wildest dreams. Most visitors think we are a cult and that is so far from the truth. We have our ups and downs but learn how to push through and come out on the fantastic end of Love. In addition, my foundation of scripture is phenomenal.

My spouse works my last nerve in every way possible. But when I reflect…..where would I be without him? His is my constant and he loves me beyond measure. He comes home every day, he is a growing dad and spouse, and he tries to learn. None of us are perfect and I know the challenges I can present from day to day. (In the middle of my typing this he is putting Keenan to bed in an effort to help me focus on this post. I just had to come back and add that in).

Lastly but not last at all, my child is the greatest thing in the world to me. He is 3 years old right now so he works my extended last nerve but there is never a day that goes by that I do not miss him and long to see his smile. He is alive and well, smart as a whip, and outside of his attitude he cares for me just as much as I do for him. Every morning he is running down a list of things I need to make sure I have. Mom you got our glasses, ….keys, ….phone, ….purse? As I am typing now he is on his table learning how to write his letters and numbers all on his own.

I didn’t finish college when I was supposed to. Since I did graduate I have not found a better job. The bills keep pilling up. I lived with my husband before I got married. I had Keenan before I got married. I had a small wedding when I wanted a destination wedding. Ummmm….that’s about it.When you put things into perspective that list seems short and irrelevant compared to all the other things I listed above.  I know your list may be totally different than mine….and maybe your cons do outweigh the pros and if they do I’m sorry. However, like I mentioned last week the people I know whose cons are greater are still more grateful than the rest of us.

Remember in the beginning I told you that you all are growing with me. I am not saying this is easy. I fall into the rut of feeling sorry for myself from time to time but every time I do these list come back and its not so bad. The difficult part is not letting the thought cross my mind. However, we have to choose to be happy. Easier said than done huh? Well I really have been trying this out and it is a work in progress but I will say its working. So these are some things that I have done to try to learn happiness.

1. Stop looking at other people! – Yes. Its not that I want what they have as I didn’t know what I wanted for my won life but regardless of the reason that was not the life God planned for me or that I planned for myself. Their life is their life and my life is my life and it is what it is. In addition, you don’t know their story or even if what they present to you is happiness. They could be in a living hell while smiling and posing for Facebook.
2. Be honest with yourself – I said above that was not the life God planned for me or that I planned for myself. If you remember last week we briefly discussed being honest with yourself. Some of my failures were my choice. Did I think they were going to lead to failure in the beginning. No, but it did and it was still MY CHOICE.
3. Let go of the plan – Screw a plan. I mean yes you set goals and you work toward them but if they don’t come to pass get over it. Sooner rather than later. A plan in regards to everything and everyone following accordingly is going to fail you every time.
4. Work towards things – Although life cannot necessarily be planned you do have to set goals. If you have thrown yourself off track it is going to take a little hard work to get back on track. For example; saving, investing, getting a home. etc. Those things take planning and a little bit of work and dedication.
5. Stop chasing money rather than happiness – If you worked as hard at being happy as you do at getting paper you probably would have stopped reading a long time ago. Money makes the world go ’round but it does not have to define your happiness. People I know that make serious money work so hard they don’t have time to enjoy it or the people they are probably working so hard for. Don’t get me wrong, we all want enough to be comfortable with no struggles at all and  even I struggle with the fact that God has given enough. But be content with what you have now until more comes.
6. Give back – I mentioned in past post that I have taken over the community events at church. This was in an effort to find happiness in my own situation by realizing how blessed I am compared to some others.
7. Embrace the small moments – I discussed in the very first week taking the time to embrace small moments with your kids. Really embracing the little things. This should be done with children, your spouse, family, and yourself.
8. Practice what you preach – Listen to the things you tell your kids. I mean if you are trying to teach them anything listen to what you say. Quite often what comes out of your mouth to them is the same things God is still saying to us at our age.
9. Be selfless – Now I ain’t gonna lie. When it comes to my immediate family this is difficult. Heck, even a few acquaintances. However, we need to take on the mindset everything we do is for the other person and truly expect nothing in return. We probably need to treat strangers like our family and family like strangers.
10. BE HAPPY! – Wake up every day and try to be happy. Listen to your happy song. BECAUSE I’M HAPPY!!!! Yep you know it. Start every day off with something that is going to get you in the mood and remind you that its a new day to take on new challenges and accomplish your goals.

This is my ten step program that I am still trying to figure out but I hope it helps. I also hope it didn’t sound typical to what you normally hear. Work hard at it, don’t give up, and it will come to pass.

Stay motivated until net week

The Sophisticate Boy